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My Poopy Beast

Most people, when they hear the word “beast,” think of a large, dangerous, four-legged animal.  For me, though, the word “beast” brings to mind a small, loud, two-legged animal.  It brings to mind the horrifying noise that a certain small … Continue reading

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Darn those homeschool moms!

We moms who send our children to public school sometimes don’t like homeschool moms, not because they smell like chickens, but because they make us look so very lazy and uncaring.  Whenever I feel tired of children’s voices and children’s … Continue reading

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Raising Glamour Girls

If you’re hoping your daughter will grow up to be a glamour girl, and you’re wondering how to make that happen, you are in luck because I’ve decided to share my secrets.    As with any quality or skill, it’s best … Continue reading

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My Sexy Business Plan

It’s such a shame that erotic entertainment for men is so commonplace and practically non-existent for women.  The reason always given for this discrepancy is that women won’t pay for desire, but that’s just a lame excuse invented by the … Continue reading

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Thanksgiving Gratitude

Lest anyone think I have a lame life, I must post about gratitude.  Here are the top five things I’m grateful for this Thanksgiving Weekend: 1.  My Mountain Man Martyr:  My husband loves the mountains almost as much as he … Continue reading

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My No-Fail Recipe for Bliss

 This blog is all about spreading joy, and so I must share that I have discovered a fail-proof recipe for bliss.    Fail-proof Recipe for Bliss Ingredients: Good-looking Husband Fertile Womb Foofy Orange Dress (Target – $15) Black Cardigan (Target – … Continue reading

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Disclaimer

If you follow this blog because you are afraid of me, the time has come for you to let go of your fear.  I can’t promise that I’ll never say something to you such as “Ya know that post I wrote about blah-blah-blah?”  But if you answer, “No, … Continue reading

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Crazy Moms

The more mothers I become acquainted with, the more I believe we’re all crazy.  Almost every mommy friend of mine has depression or anxiety or panic attacks or worse.  I’m coming to understand why my midwife looks suspicious when I hand her my post-partum questionaire.  … Continue reading

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The Secret to Parenting

Now that my two oldest children are in school, I have the luxury of doing my shopping with just a toddler boy and baby girl.  This is a relief not only because kids are super annoying in stores but also because walking … Continue reading

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Clay Hand Number One

When I was a college student, I heard my journalism professors complain that journalists earn awards instead of money.  I feel for journalists!  Of course, we moms don’t earn awards or money, but that only makes sense considering that every single year … Continue reading

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