The Full-Fledged, Full-Time, Frumpy Mom

I just barely left the workforce before I gave birth to my first baby, which I entered just barely after college, which I entered just barely after high school.  So in essence, rather than call me a mother, it’d probably be more accurate to describe me as a former teenager who had a baby.  Or two. Or three?  Okay, so the delusion isn’t working anymore.  I’m beginning to see I must accept my status as a full-fledged, full-time, frumpy mom.  Besides the third child, these are some of the signs that I have to cast off my former-teenager identity.  Are you a full-fledged mother?  Or still a former teenager with a baby?  My list will help you know. Ten Symptoms of Being All Mom: #10. Whenever I make waffles or pancakes, I scan the fridge in case there’s leftover rice, oatmeal, applesauce, baked potatoes or tuna casserole to throw in as filler. #9.  I’d rather buy an outfit for myself than for the baby. #8.  I’m a pretty good cook even though I never wanted to be. #8.  I just love the Wiggle’s “You’ve Got to Be Clean.” #7.  My dream vacation is the one my husband and children take without me. #6.  I’ve traded in my diaper bag for a gargantuan purse. #5.  My stomach always looks like it did when I was four months pregnant with my first child. #4.  I think of a baby’s crying as white noise that helps me fall asleep (see my Talented Sleeper post) #3.  If my baby boy urinates during a diaper change, I don’t jump backward or scream—I calmly raise my hand and deflect the urine back into the diaper. #2.  I have a healthy fear of the laundry pile.  #1.  My floor is very very sticky.


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2 Responses to The Full-Fledged, Full-Time, Frumpy Mom

  1. Peggy

    I think I am almost all mom, except for the leftover tuna casserole in pancakes and waffles. On that one…WOW.Real moms are also not allowed to have clean clothes. I start clean, but inevitably a kid wipes his grimy hands or mouth on my shirt.

  2. mariana

    i am going to start being a non frumpy mom again as soon as my youngest is 6. and my when my hubby starts making more money, and when i loose 10 lbs, and when i have more time to shop with friends, and when…..anyway, i will be a totally HOT mom soon.

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