I just barely left the workforce before I gave birth to my first baby, which I entered just barely after college, which I entered just barely after high school. So in essence, rather than call me a mother, it’d probably be more accurate to describe me as a former teenager who had a baby. Or two. Or three? Okay, so the delusion isn’t working anymore. I’m beginning to see I must accept my status as a full-fledged, full-time, frumpy mom. Besides the third child, these are some of the signs that I have to cast off my former-teenager identity. Are you a full-fledged mother? Or still a former teenager with a baby? My list will help you know. Ten Symptoms of Being All Mom: #10. Whenever I make waffles or pancakes, I scan the fridge in case there’s leftover rice, oatmeal, applesauce, baked potatoes or tuna casserole to throw in as filler. #9. I’d rather buy an outfit for myself than for the baby. #8. I’m a pretty good cook even though I never wanted to be. #8. I just love the Wiggle’s “You’ve Got to Be Clean.” #7. My dream vacation is the one my husband and children take without me. #6. I’ve traded in my diaper bag for a gargantuan purse. #5. My stomach always looks like it did when I was four months pregnant with my first child. #4. I think of a baby’s crying as white noise that helps me fall asleep (see my Talented Sleeper post) #3. If my baby boy urinates during a diaper change, I don’t jump backward or scream—I calmly raise my hand and deflect the urine back into the diaper. #2. I have a healthy fear of the laundry pile. #1. My floor is very very sticky.