Joyous Mom is Back!

My Baby Susie, born October 31, 2011. Her healthy color is due to the constant stream of creative juices she received in utero.

I forgot to mention in my last blog post the effects of pregnancy on the expectant mother’s creativity. To make a long story short, expectant mothers have none. Any creativity they have been blessed with is leeched from their brains and bones, and fed to the fetus through the placenta.

A curious side effect of this phenomenon is the sewing syndrome; expectant mothers who do not want to acknowledge that they are limp fish when it comes to artistry and innovation, often attempt to replicate these sensations by sewing or cleaning. For example, instead of producing the great Mormon American novel, she might produce a yellow blanket with monkeys on it. Or instead of posting brilliant humorous essays on motherhood, she might clean her infant car seat with cue tips.
I suggest to first-time mothers, who have yet to discover that making baby quilts is one of the most popular hobbies in the world (just after playing soccer), that they let other people make them blankets. Trust me, you will have twenty new quilts by the time your baby is one month old, and every one of them will be lots cuter than my yellow one with the monkeys on it. So, instead of posing as a quilter, just accept that you are temporarily without creativity, and try to find self-fulfillment in a bag of chocolate or an afternoon nap. If you’re really struggling with this reality, remind yourself that, technically speaking, expectant mothers haven’t actually lost their creativity; rather, they are channeling it toward the creation of something gloriously more beautiful than even my great Mormon American novel—a baby.

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