If you’ve read my About page, then you know I have “loud, demanding” children, but just how loud and how demanding has probably never entered your imagination, which is why I began this year with the goal of reading every parenting book I could find. The idea was that by year’s end I would be competent enough to cope with four children without the help of chocolate.
Fortunately, I never wasted time pursuing these silly goals because a couple good friends helped me see the light when it comes to parenting. They recommended to me a non-parenting book called “Outliers,” which is about what causes people to be highly successful. This book piqued my interest because, as you know, I have been highly successful in producing gorgeous children. What I was amazed to find out, though—probably because I’m so humble—is that I’m doing everything right in preparing my children to be highly successful too!
So I learned from “Outliers” that I should return my parenting books to the library, or else loan them to you, because research indicates that well-behaved children are the product of lower-class expectations. On the other hand, children raised by sophisticated parents like myself are headed for greatness. This is because they are comfortable with authority (ahem, they are loud and demanding) and are not afraid to pursue their dreams (ahem, to manipulate others into giving them what they want). So the next time you see my child kicking and screaming on the floor, and you wonder why I reward that behavior with chocolate, this is because I am preparing her to win the Nobel Peace Prize.