Loud and Demanding Children

If you’ve read my About page, then you know I have “loud, demanding” children, but just how loud and how demanding has probably never entered your imagination, which is why I began this year with the goal of reading every parenting book I could find.  The idea was that by year’s end I would be competent enough to cope with four children without the help of chocolate.

Fortunately, I never wasted time pursuing  these silly goals because a couple good friends helped me see the light when it comes to parenting.  They recommended to me a non-parenting book called “Outliers,” which is about what causes people to be highly successful.  This book piqued my interest because, as you know, I have been highly successful in producing gorgeous children.  What I was amazed to find out, though—probably because I’m so humble—is that I’m doing everything right in preparing my children to be highly successful too!

So I learned from “Outliers” that I should return my parenting books to the library, or else loan them to you, because research indicates that well-behaved children are the product of lower-class expectations.  On the other hand, children raised by sophisticated parents like myself are headed for greatness.   This is because they are comfortable with authority (ahem, they are loud and demanding) and are not afraid to pursue their dreams (ahem, to manipulate others into giving them what they want).  So the next time you see my child kicking and screaming on the floor, and you wonder why I reward that behavior with chocolate, this is because I am preparing her to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

2 Comments

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2 Responses to Loud and Demanding Children

  1. Katrina

    So funny! I guess I always thought raising little girls would be somewhat easier than raising all these LOUD boys. But come to think of it, the girl is just as loud. I keep telling myself that all this independent mindedness of theirs will be for their good, one day. For now it is difficult to survive the days, more for me than them. I keep dreaming of running away, but those sweet, sticky faces keep luring me to stay a little longer. Perhaps our highly sucessful (and LOUD) children can marry each other, and then we will have peace and quiet.

  2. Peggy Jones

    Geniuses/ sociopaths whatever…
    It makes me laugh to think someone is going to read this and think you are serious.

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