Raising Glamour Girls

If you’re hoping your daughter will grow up to be a glamour girl, and you’re wondering how to make that happen, you are in luck because I’ve decided to share my secrets. 

My daughter is glamorous and she knows it!


As with any quality or skill, it’s best to start learning at a young age from a competent teacher.  The most effective teachers provide both modeling and direct instruction.  So, if you are a mother, the first step in teaching glamour is to be vain yourself, always worrying about the flatness of your belly and what’s new in the fashion world.  Second, you must smile and toss your hair every time you see yourself in the mirror.  Third, you must constantly tell your baby how gorgeous she is.  For example, while changing diapers, you can admire her cute bottom.  While getting her dressed, you tell her she’s the most darling baby in the town.  While preparing meals, you might sing songs about her unmatched beauty.  And finally, you must show her that glamour requires sacrifice and sometimes pain.  This can be done by removing her from an enjoyable play activity in order to comb her hair into an elegant whale-spout ponytail.  Firmly trap her body between your knees and coerce that hair into place no matter how loud she screams or hard she cries.

This elegant whale spout required sacrfice and pain.


If you’re a particularly talented teacher (like I am) and have a particularly gifted child (I have several), you might be surprised at how quickly she picks up on being glamorous.  Below is the link to a video of my one-year-old daughter who already has learned to flirt and finds it very satisfying to sit in front of a mirror.  Notice how I skillfully coach her in the art of thinking vain thoughts:


Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *