Mothers and Celebrities

Being a mother of young children is a lot like being famous:        Celebrities do important things all day and can never let down their guard.         Celebrities never go anywhere alone.        Celebrities are continually accosted by strangers.        Celebrities are expected to be better than everyone else and always know the proper thing to do.        Celebrities have expensive accessories. There are a few differences, though.  For example, a celebrity’s entourage helps him or her stay on schedule.  A mother’s entourage doesn’t do that.  Another difference is that a celebrity’s fan always asks, “Excuse me, can I have your autograph?” while a mother’s fan always asks, “How old are they?” The celebrity answers, “Sure, who do I make it out to?”  The mother answers, “Five, three and four months.” The celebrity’s fan says, “Thank you so much.”  The mother’s fan says, “They’re cute.”Have you ever wondered why the fans need to know how old our children are before they can judge whether they’re cute?  I used to wonder about that.  Then it dawned on me that if my four-month-old was actually two years old, he wouldn’t be cute.  He’d be frighteningly small.     Another big difference between mothers and famous people is that our accessories are often loud and awkward to carry.


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2 Responses to Mothers and Celebrities

  1. Sonja Younger

    A few more observations:Celebrities wear big goggle-like sunglasses because they look cool; mommies wear them to hide the bags under our eyes. Celebrities have swollen (and often artificial) breasts to attract the hotties; mommies have swollen breasts that only attract the little, very hungry guys who find leaky boobs to be ever so yummy. Celebrities wear tight “hot pants” because they’re in style and look incredible; we wear tight pants because we can’t afford the larger size needed since we gave birth. Celebrities pay someone else to take care of their kids; we take care of our own. Most celebrities’ fans are over the age of ten; most of our fans are under the age of ten. Celebrities party all night; so do we, if you want to call it that! Celebrities come and go; mommies are stars forever….

  2. Renee

    Re. similarities: Celebrities are judged constantly based purely on a moment in time or a glance (read mother with screaming child). Celebrities are constantly subjected to criticism based on little to no actual knowledge on the part of the critic. Celebrities are expected to look entirely put together at all times.Re. differences: While mothers’ accessories may be loud and awkward to carry, based on pictures so are some celebrities. When celebrities do something good, everyone in the world knows about it, while mothers get a fraction of the acknowledgement for multiple times the effort to make the world better. Celebrities often have ripped clothing, but that is deliberate. Celebrities are publicly criticized for not losing baby weight fast enough.

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