Tag Archives: motherhood

My Poopy Beast

Most people, when they hear the word “beast,” think of a large, dangerous, four-legged animal.  For me, though, the word “beast” brings to mind a small, loud, two-legged animal.  It brings to mind the horrifying noise that a certain small … Continue reading

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The Professional Mom

A while back, my husband’s best friend got married to an exceptionally accomplished woman.   Not only is she practically a concert pianist, she is also a law professor.  At first I found her intimidating, but when she got pregnant I … Continue reading

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First Day of Kindergarten

My first day of kindergarten—twenty-four years ago—was a few days late.  The real first day had come and gone while my family was trucking across the United States in a U-Haul.  I can remember my mother taking me into the … Continue reading

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Night-time Fantasies

I’m not a man, and I’ve never been one, so I can’t say for sure, but let me just put it out there as my personal belief that when a man can’t sleep at night, he likes to think about … Continue reading

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The Perils of Multi-tasking

You might be wondering why I haven’t posted for almost two weeks. The reason is—no joke—my baby boy spit up all over my laptop. When I turned it on a few hours later, typing on the keyboard caused all sorts … Continue reading

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Mothers and Celebrities

Being a mother of young children is a lot like being famous:        Celebrities do important things all day and can never let down their guard.         Celebrities never go anywhere alone.        Celebrities are continually accosted by strangers.        Celebrities are expected to … Continue reading

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Birth Order Theory

I’m a strong believer in birth-order theory.  As the youngest of seven children, I know firsthand that each child has to work harder than the last to get his or her parents’ attention.  I’m 29, and I’m still figuring out … Continue reading

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Avoiding Post-partum Depression

Disclaimer:  I am not a physician and am unqualified to dispense medical advice.  Please consult with your doctor before trying out my methods. If I were a legislator I’d propose that government require warning labels on mattresses.  “Certain uses of this product can … Continue reading

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Talented Sleeper

Chief among my mothering skills is my talent for sleeping.  I learned this skill in college—the only part of my college education so far that has applied to my career as a mother.I was a devoted student back in college … Continue reading

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